This is an experiment page using Photoshop7 to combine pages, and Comic Life to design word balloons. The Meyor Segundo is the Second Main Sail. All sails need to be tied up during a storm or the wind will rip them away.
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also see what "Master Jedi" Steve Crespo thinks. His critique for me has been an invaluable source of help.
Hmmm, good point Mel. The lighting during a storm is usually pretty non-directional, but after looking at the ropes...I see I could do better. Each sailor is wearing a thick wool serrape which doesn't fold much, but with a little study I could add in some accurate creases. This would be especially helpful in the Captain's figure since detail tends to pull a figure forward in a picture. Thank you!
Hey Brien my critique would be you have some great value detail with everything except the character's clothes and their faces. There's no light or shadow on them. Where is the light source like you have on the ropes and clouds? The clothes look flat.
Yeah! Thank you for the pointers! In answer to Gerard, and somewhat to DL, the raindrops were added as an overlaid 'standard photoshop pattern', hence their uniformity. When I did this to the larger Ship-pic, then shrank it to fit the frame, the drops became a subtle gritty texture which is kind of neat. I didn't have to shrink the bottom pic so you can still see the drop pattern, and its uniformity causes the eye to see and then dismiss it. Since I want my viewer to experience the wind and lashing rain, and it won't hurt my plot to have the viewer pause at the bottom of the page, I'm going to go back to add rain and water-splatter details that you guys have noted the need for.
A side comment to Joseph: I also labor under a lack of critique-confidence due to a lack of formal training. However, when critique is asked for, I still tell myself that I have the eye of an experienced art fan and can still offer something of value. We may not have the schooled terms but we can still spot and express details that please or bother us.
Again, thank you all; and thank you in advance to anyone who has yet to comment.
looks good. Just a suggestion, use photoshop to add water drops on the page for some tone color or water spots and running ink on the page to give it an effect to draw the reader in, or water beads to make it appear as if the reader is looking through a lends that had water sprayed on it. over all I like it.
Hey Brien, This page is fantastic. I love the mood and action. The ship in the first panel is masterly rendered. The characters expressions are great. It really feels like you are in the middle of the storm. I have 2 minor critiques. The text in first word balloon feels a little cramped. let it breath a little on left and right side. Check this out . Also The second panel should be a little wider, the same width as the top panel. I don't know why this is an "experimental page" though..Looks like a very solid page 1 to me. I want to know what happens next!
Thank you Bros! I would welcome any critique on details, or the overall page.
Wow, you got the storm on the sea effect just right! Terrific!
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