On a rather emotion filled ride home from getting my wife's children, God placed a rather powerful realization on my heart. My wife had went through a divorce several years ago. Her husband had made her and her kids the victims of adultery. The children do not know the events that took place of course, but none the less feel the effects. They were missing their daddy, and it made for a heart breaking hour trip home.About halfway through the trip my wife leaned over to me and said, "This may sound bad, but I don't think it is fair that me and the kids should have to suffer for him (their dad) choosing to leave."I saw the tears well up in her eyes again, and my heart sank. It was in that moment that God spoke to my heart. He flooded my mind with an image of a pond. A smooth and heavy stone being tossed forcefully into it. The grand splash and the endless ripples that followed. Each ring going farther and farther out. Anything and everything in it's path being moved, changed and altered.Not only did he speak to my heart, but he spoke through me. I began by explaining my own failings. See, I myself am no better than her ex husband. I too chose to leave my first wife. No matter what happened between us, no matter my or her transgressions, in the end, it was me who left. I threw the stone into the pond.I explained that it all goes back to the idea of why God allows bad things to happen to good people. We are all given a choice. We are given the FREE choice to either follow God, or not. To live our life seeking to do his will or living daily focused on our own selfish desires. When we choose to walk away from God, allow sin in our hearts, and make selfish, self gratifying decisions, we send ripples that we never see, or do not feel for weeks, years or never at all. What God showed me this day was just how far reaching those ripples can be. I told my wife about how my decision affected my son and my ex wife. Those were easy ripples. I went on to point out the ripples that were not so obvious. It affected my friends, who I lost when I left. It affected my church, and the view they had of me and my wife. It changed my extended family. I then also pointed out that it keeps going beyond that. That in the end, it affects her, it affects her kids. Cause they are apart of my son's life now. It affects her parents who love my son. It changed things for my ex wife's boyfriend and his son. And the ripples go on, and on, and on. Some ripples I will never see, but even the ones that God put in front of my face were hard hitting enough.I told her, that no matter how close I now get to God, no matter what my walk is when I die, my life and the lives of many have been forever changed by that one event. It is in that moment that I turned to her and said, "Isn't it amazing that we choose to do anything that isn't God's will when you think about the ripples you cause others around you?" I have been a changed man for a while now, but one thing that God made clear to me was that what I wanted as a man was NEVER what was best for me. So daily, I pray to my God, NOT MY WILL, BUT THY WILL. That simple prayer that has been so strong in my heart the past year or more, became even more passionately clear to me now. How could I EVER want to do something that isn't God's will ever again, especially knowing how I can directly and even indirectly affect those around me. So my prayer has become stronger, and even more fervent....NOT MY WILL, BUT THY WILL BE DONE! AMEN...
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