CHRISTIAN COMIC ARTS SOCIETY :: A NETWORK OF CHRISTIAN FELLOWSHIP FOR COMICS FANS, PROS, AND AMATEURS

Process, and My Mind is Weird

Well, I'm aiming to post updates Thursdayish, if I have something to say. I'm excited to contribute to the site and be an active member here. If anybody has tips or comments, please tell me! I live in a tiny rural area, my alma mater is an hour away, and my husband is... pragmatic. I love the pragmatism most days, but discussing writing and art is a ticklish sort of business. At this stage, my project is all pie in the sky and a few really rough sketches. It's a little difficult for him to engage with. Until I get it fleshed out and closer to the finished product, it's just going to be hard to discuss. So I'm really glad to be here where I can bore you all to death with my creative musings. Maybe I'll even be some use. :)I haven't done a comic book or graphic narrative before, and honestly I'm not quite sure which this will be. When I'm writing, I can tell if I'm working on a short story or a novel because I have a sense of how many words it will take to tell the story. But as this is the first time incorporating pictures, I have less of a handle on how big it will be and consequently, how to publish it.I also had problems with drafting the story in a linear fashion. By starting at the beginning, I tended to include things that weren't necessary, and I had to go back and add things in as I thought of them. So instead, I sketched a two-page spread of the sequence where my character decides to change her life. That *had* to be there, I knew. From there I worked my way backward in the story - what logically comes before that, and what are the important elements to include? Eventually I got to the beginning and in the process, the story became much more clear.While working my way back from my main character's major transition, I realized that a plot point I was a bit foggy on needed something to hold it together - a common thread of motivation for all the characters - and then I realized I already knew what it was. I'd just been hoping I didn't have to deal with it until later. I had been concerned about how to introduce it so that it wasn't sudden and didn't seem exploitative, because while awareness is needed on the subject's real-world counterpart, sensationalizing it wouldn't be helpful. Well, that problem is gone, because it's part of the story from the very beginning. Of course that opens a whole new can of trouble. Right now, all I can say is that it's a good thing I don't care about offending anyone or who is going to buy it at this stage, because it's starting out a lot darker in tone than I had thought it was going to get in volume one. That darkness is not likely to be what anyone expects of me. I'm afraid to show it to anyone I know before the whole story arc is complete, because while I know it's a story about redemption, it looks hopeless and messed up a lot of times. I know that's what makes a good story (that and telling it well) but I don't know anyone IRL who makes up fictional characters in order to make their lives miserable in order to create a good story. Knowing that God gave me this story to tell is... Not a good way to explain how I happen to be writing this. That does keep me going, though.Understand, now, whenever I practiced my art or writing and showed it to anyone, I pretty much got the same treatment. They would stare, puzzled as to why I chose this subject, or point to the girl I drew from my imagination and ask, "Is this you?" I realize they just want to say something that relates to the picture and it seems like a safe question, but now I have a hard time separating myself from my work! I wonder where someone is going to see me in it, when my role is to disappear and let the story stand on its own.It's hard to get the courage to send anything for a critique. I know it isn't perfect, that's why it needs a critique, but how can I let someone see it if it isn't perfect?!It's hard to read a critique. I send it to narrow down the places where it isn't perfect and ask where I can improve it, and then I get it and it is Proof that my work isn't perfect and I'm never going to be good enough!I *know* this is crazy and counterproductive. Knowing that might make it easier to deal with, but it doesn't make that visceral terror of judgement go away.Anybody else dealing with fear in storytelling? Any tips are appreciated!
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Comments

  • Well, you certainly can explain a complex blend of thoughts and emotions in an interesting fashion.  You appear to have a good grasp of yourself and some of the inherent hardships of your our passion. Telling a big story(while growing as a storyteller) is like long-distance swimming in both the good and bad.  For encouragement and direction I keep checking in with my savior, wife, and awesome storytellers whose collected works tell me that awesome storytelling is a really powerful thing.

    I also live in a rural setting that is charming, but devoid of anystorytellers I know of in a hundred miles in any given direction...so this site is currently most of my feedback and inspiration in graphic storytelling.

    By using animal characters, I've never been accused of drawing myself or friends into my stories. I suppose if you changed the gender or occupation of a desired character, you could dodge the "Is this you?" and "Is this me?" questions.

    I have a lot of trepidation about my story telling.  That's probably why I'm sitting here now instead of in front of a drawing board. Sharing the process and pain is both comforting and useful, but sometimes I use emails and blogs to hide from my drawing board.

    Always good to read your journal entries written in a smooth and personable style.  Fight the good fight.

    -Brien

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