I've been missing awhile, I know, but so much has been going on! Some struggles, yes, lots of insecurities getting dredged up (oh, next on my list of steps in faith is my fear of man and need for worldly approval? Thanks for the heads-up, Jesus...) but also some huge leaps ahead.I have finally joined a volunteer team at church! I had thought volunteering would be a simple thing to do, but I kept coming up against reality... I am an introvert, which means I get energy from alone time. I love people, just not with me face-to-face. It's tiring. So in-person volunteering left me exhausted. I *can* work a booth, but not every week. So I was going to help with setup, since our campus loads in and loads out of the expo center and that's what my husband does. Except... who's going to watch the kids between 5:30 and 7:00 am Sunday mornings? If we just brought them along, I'd be tending sleepy little grumps instead of setting up and I could do that at home! And so on. So I kept poking at the problem, trying to figure something out while also being generous with occasional opportunities - food drives, Angel tree gifts, etc.Meanwhile, my church was forming a new volunteer team to do blog posts, devotionals, testimonies, and other written work. I sent an email expressing interest, but I didn't hear from them that month so I figured they were full and had lots of writers already. Every now and then somebody from the volunteer coordinating team would call and ask if I'd signed onto the writing team, and I'd just say nothing had come through but if there was something I could do I'd be happy to, I just needed a task I could do mostly from home. (Here is where my insecurities really had a field day, btw. I was certain that nobody had called because nobody wanted my writing and there were lots of better writers already on the team and they just hadn't made that clear to the volunteer coordinators yet.)Well, then I got a call from the head of the writing team. He said my email had gotten lost and found and shuffled and he was wondering if I was still interested. I said yes, still waiting on the other shoe to drop, but he sounded genuinely excited to have me team. So, after a few more steps, training, writing/editing my own testimony, I am now on the Stories team and interviewing members of my church for their testimonies :)Now, I realize that all this would've been a lot less complicated and painful if instead of assuming that I'm the worst writer to apply and nobody wants to hear from me anyway and being so addicted to praise of my work and so enslaved by fear of being not good enough for other people - if instead of all that, I had returned again and again to God promising me that He did not give me a worthless gift.God gives good gifts. Even if nobody respects what you're doing, even if art and writing and creating comics is seen as stupid or trivial by other people in your life, God gave you these gifts and they are good and worth honing, developing, and seeing them through.
Comments
Very moving...I can relate...Thank you...Blessings...
I love a happy turn of events, and enjoyed your update. May Jesus bless you in this faith step.