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Strip Update: Comments? Opinions?

Hey all,

   So, I've been working on getting this weekly strip up and running, but I have hit a few walls.

   (Again, the strip was originally meant to be a kind of diary for my eyes only, but I've since decided to let other folks into my head.)

   The first incarnation of the idea was pretty much drawn as I sketched them out- featureless characters meant just to deliver the idea. It worked for me, but since I've been showing them around and gathering as much feedback as possible, I have heard the comment more than once that the characters are confusing, or even unlikeable.

   That's not to say some folks didn't like them, they did, but in order to make life more interesting I kind of fleshed them out a bit more.

   So, here is one of my newer strips-

3449075843?profile=original   What do you think?

   One word... my main character, the yellow man, is dressed the way he is in order to imply that he is out of joint with this world, he feels like he is from a different era, and never feels quite at home in the present culture.

  Anyhoo.... thoughts.

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Replies

  • Thanks, Steve.  Nuts and bolts is right;  comics is a very rich craft (with some great spiritual parallels).  I look forward to future installments of your strip(s)!

     

    The Lord bless you, brother.

     

    Lee

     

     

     

     

  • "This has taken on way more gravity than I'd intended."

     

       Yet, this is the perfect place for it! The nuts and bolts of comics!

       It's all good, my friend! I'm always looking to sharpen my skills!

       I appreciate the input!

     

     

  • Buzz, of course....and I don't believe I referred to anything as a deal breaker.  I also wasn't looking to make my explanation of the 180 rule a referendum on Steve's strip, which is very, very good just as it is.  This has taken on way more gravity than I'd intended.

     

    To the broader point, the rule is completely appropriate/ vital to good storytelling in any narrative medium -- comics included.   You can ruin a comics scene/flow by getting it wrong in just the right place.  But, yes, it's more consistently critical to film.  

     

    As I said -- it's a tool.  I welcome being introduced to storytelling tools unfamiliar to me that I can add to my tool belt...even if I never use them.

     

    Blessings,

     

    Lee

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • Hey Steve,

     

    Rules are really just tools.  The bottom line is, "does it work?"  If the flow is interrupted -- or if I have to backtrack/re-read to make sure I know who's talking and to whom...then I break out the tool kit.  If the flow is there -- the tool kit is unnecessary...mission accomplished.

     

    (oh, and for my own clarity's sake, the 180 "tool" ;) is for all continuity/narrative art -- film, comics, storyboards, etc.!)

     

    God bless--

     

    Lee

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     


    Steve Crespo said:

    Lee...

     

       Ah, yes. I see.

       I kind of let the rhythm of the dialogue dictate the visuals. The first character to speak in each panel is put to the left. I can see this rule working very well in film where multiple shots are knitted together to make a whole, but in comics, where word bubbles have to go where they go... it seems this rule can sort of get in the way. I guess.

       It reminds me... there's this GREAT documentary called "A Man Named Pearl" about a South Carolina man who, with absolutely no training at all, transformed his property into an amazing topiary garden- trimming and shaping his trees over many years into the most stunning and fantastic shapes. His garden not only transformed his life, and stumped the "professionals", but it also transformed his town. 

        Really a great story. (And, he's a Christian.)

       Anyhoo, one line he said stuck with me: "It's a good thing no one ever told me I couldn't do this."

       Sometimes ya just gotta do whatcha gotta do!

       Thanks, Lee!

       :-)   

    Strip Update: Comments? Opinions?
    Hey all,    So, I've been working on getting this weekly strip up and running, but I have hit a few walls.    (Again, the strip was originally meant…
  • Lee...

     

       Ah, yes. I see.

       I kind of let the rhythm of the dialogue dictate the visuals. The first character to speak in each panel is put to the left. I can see this rule working very well in film where multiple shots are knitted together to make a whole, but in comics, where word bubbles have to go where they go... it seems this rule can sort of get in the way. I guess.

       It reminds me... there's this GREAT documentary called "A Man Named Pearl" about a South Carolina man who, with absolutely no training at all, transformed his property into an amazing topiary garden- trimming and shaping his trees over many years into the most stunning and fantastic shapes. His garden not only transformed his life, and stumped the "professionals", but it also transformed his town. 

        Really a great story. (And, he's a Christian.)

       Anyhoo, one line he said stuck with me: "It's a good thing no one ever told me I couldn't do this."

       Sometimes ya just gotta do whatcha gotta do!

       Thanks, Lee!

       :-)   

  • Hey Steve,

     

    180 degree rule is this; when you establish a scene, you automatically set up an "axis line" or the 180 degree plane.  In your strip, the line is drawn between your two guys, with Yellow Guy on the left, facing left.  They should always remain in this basic orientation unless and until you establish that your line has changed (to do this in film you might show one character cross over in front of the other and a new imaginary line would be drawn).

     

    When Yellow Guy and Blue Hair Guy wind up on opposite sides of each other in panel 3 (with Yellow Guy now facing right), the 180 degree rule appears to break.  It disorients just a little bit (which can be and is intentionally used by some cartoonists/directors at times for effect).

     

    Think of a gunfight with the classic Sergio Leone shot from behind Gunfighter #1 looking to Gunfighter #2.  If GF1 (from behind his hip/holster) is on the left of frame, then when you reverse angle to behind GF2's hip/holster, GF1 should remain on the left side of the frame, though now we see him at a distance looking back at us.  In each of the two shots, he is on the left side looking right, while GF2 remains on the right side, looking left.

     

    Why do I feel like I might have just taken a 50 pound sledge to get that stink bug crawling around in the china closet?  :)

     

    Of course, as with most  "rules" of storytelling, there are times to break them...for effect.

     

    If you want to see someone explain this (better, I'm sure), here's a link to a YT vid I found ....

    http://youtu.be/ya02fT1q18k

     

     

    God bless--

     

    Lee

     

     

     

     

  • Lee,

       Thanks so much for the comments! But...

       Maybe I'm a dullard, but what's the "180 degree rule"?

  • Steve,

     

    I really liked the featureless clay guys -- and I like this, too.

     

    Is it just me or does the pnl 2-3 transition seem to play with the 180 degree rule?  It's not a huge deal but there was just a little hitch as I read through.   

     

    Love how the boat has drifted further from us between panel 1 and panel 4.  The Joe Kubert influence in me wants to see it taken even further -- it's a really neat device that accentuates the dreamy feel your dialogue is evoking.  (Joe would take the zoom out so far that the reader would need the first panel to tell him what the little black squiggle in the last panel was! )

     

    Anyway...very good stuff! 

     

    God bless--

     

    Lee

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • I honestly liked both versions, but I got to say, this version is amazing! You did an amazing Job Coloring, and the Characters seem real now, I don't know how to express it, but it's amazing bro :) Nice Job.

  • I agree, it does seem like two different strips. I like both versions :) but i guess i'll be one of the ones that like the old version better, because it is different. Your current version it's almost like you compromised your originality in design and form, for what more people might like. I think you could have fleshed out the old version characters, maybe just by giving them names and distinct colors. I don't know, maybe i'm just rambling lol

     

    Anyway, as for your main character here...I dont see anything odd about the way he is dressed...maybe because i live in texas and see people dressed like that all the time :D

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