Johnny B. Goode

I posted this in the introductions section but I think I need to post it here. I recently finished a Christian Webcomic, Johnny B. Goode I have been…

Hi Christopher :) Welcome!
The art looks classic and while not groundbreaking (and not meant to be), it's technically sound. The overall effect is charmingly retro :)

As far as the story, I think the pacing is slow and there's a lot of rather circular interior monologuing going on. What do Milly and Johnny see in each other? She has nice eyes, he's a Christian, and this has kept them going 3 months even though he keeps ducking out on her a la Clark Kent? He doesn't even attempt to ask her what she thinks of anything vaguely related to what he's up to? Kendall could be interesting, but the closest we come to interacting with him is a wristwatch.

Your dialogue between characters is quite good - also charmingly retro - but all the exposition in the interior monologue is killing your forward momentum and suspense. I'd rather hear about how the stakes are being raised - Milly's been dropping a lot of hints about how she appreciates honesty, or Johnny has some nagging suspicion that Kendall isn't all he says he is, or some specific worry about the kidnap victim (idk, kidnapped from a hospital room? Has asthma that's triggered by stress? Johnny's met this kid, and he's a total punk, but part of being the good guy is saving punks too?) Something for Johnny to think about other than, "As you know, Self, this is where my powers come from..."

Other than that, I think this could turn into something really cool - my mind is going to time travel, since the concept's already introduced with Kendall, and it would be fun to keep the retro style.

I am not a fan of Prayer Power, but it works for some people, and if it works for you, that's what counts. :)

Replies

Christopher Lee Jones September 22, 2012 at 2:12am

Thanks Buzz. I drew them as individual pages but I wanted to take advantage of the surprise factor of a webcomic format.
Christopher Lee Jones September 21, 2012 at 2:10pm

Paula I'm going to post your reply here

http://www.christiancomicarts.com/forum/topics/johnny-b-goode-1

and continue

Johnny B. Goode

I posted this in the introductions section but I think I need to post it here. I recently finished a Christian Webcomic, Johnny B. Goode I have been…
Paula Richey September 21, 2012 at 12:48pm

Hi Christopher :) Welcome!
The art looks classic and while not groundbreaking (and not meant to be), it's technically sound. The overall effect is charmingly retro :)

As far as the story, I think the pacing is slow and there's a lot of rather circular interior monologuing going on. What do Milly and Johnny see in each other? She has nice eyes, he's a Christian, and this has kept them going 3 months even though he keeps ducking out on her a la Clark Kent? He doesn't even attempt to ask her what she thinks of anything vaguely related to what he's up to? Kendall could be interesting, but the closest we come to interacting with him is a wristwatch.

Your dialogue between characters is quite good - also charmingly retro - but all the exposition in the interior monologue is killing your forward momentum and suspense. I'd rather hear about how the stakes are being raised - Milly's been dropping a lot of hints about how she appreciates honesty, or Johnny has some nagging suspicion that Kendall isn't all he says he is, or some specific worry about the kidnap victim (idk, kidnapped from a hospital room? Has asthma that's triggered by stress? Johnny's met this kid, and he's a total punk, but part of being the good guy is saving punks too?) Something for Johnny to think about other than, "As you know, Self, this is where my powers come from..."

Other than that, I think this could turn into something really cool - my mind is going to time travel, since the concept's already introduced with Kendall, and it would be fun to keep the retro style.

I am not a fan of Prayer Power, but it works for some people, and if it works for you, that's what counts. :)

This reply was deleted.