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(Note: I originally posted this on my blog. You can see the original post here.)

I feel like I should write something about Batman–both the recent movie itself (but this post does not contain spoilers) and the horrible tragedy that accompanied it. Both are topics close to my heart, and people have asked me to write about them, so I’m going to try. But I know that much has been said on this topic already, even in the short time since it occurred, and I’m somewhat still sorting through my own thoughts and feelings as well. So please forgive me if this seems at all incoherent or redundant or like a rehash of my last post on superheroes and their real-life implications.

As I stood in line at the theater late on Thursday night in my Batman costume, next to my brother Jared dressed as Robinand his friend Michael dressed as Bane, I was expecting to watch a completely epic, awesome movie.I fully expected to see Batman sacrifice his life in a heroic move to save the people of Gotham from Bane, and to see Joseph Gordon-Levitt‘s character  take over as the new Batman. In the comics, Bane is the villain who is famous for breaking Batman’s back so that someone else had to wear the cape and cowl for a while until Bruce Wayne was well enough to return to his role. But in this darker, more gritty, more realistic trilogy, I expected that Bruce would not recover, which had been a prediction of many fans before the movie, and that his victory this time would come at a very high price indeed.

I won’t tell you whether or not my predictions came true–partially because I don’t want to reveal spoilers for anyone who hasn’t seen it yet, and partially because I’m not entirely sure what happened myself. As the film concluded and I walked out of the theater, I thought I knew what had happened in the movie, but since then, others have pointed out details that made me question that conclusion. Just like Christopher Nolan‘s last film, Inception, the ending of The Dark Knight Rises was perhaps a bit ambiguous. Just like all Nolan films that I’ve seen so far, the plot was laced with so many complex intricacies that I’m going to have to watch it at least one more time, and probably more, in order to understand them all, and doing so may possibly change my opinion on the outcome of the film. I enjoyed the film greatly and will say that I thought it was indeed an epic conclusion to the trilogy, but I have heard from those who thought it was lacking or subpar compared to Batman Begins and The Dark Knight. Since there are parts that I’m still unclear on, since watching it between midnight and 3 AM may have made it even more difficult for me to notice and think clearly about some details, I will refrain from commenting much here on the overall quality of the film and its story. Suffice it to say for now that, beforehand, I fully expected and wanted Batman to become the ultimate, noble, selfless hero by giving up his life to save the people of Gotham City.

What I certainly was not expecting was to hear, when I got online after sleeping late the next morning, that, in another part of the country, tragedy had befallen the midnight showing and some depraved, horrible person had taken it upon himself to emulate Batman’s enemies and cause panic at the theater by shooting, gassing, killing, and injuring many of the moviegoers. I didn’t know what to say or do. I don’t know how to respond to or make sense of this tragedy other than to continue praying for the victims and their loved ones, and to look again to the God of mercy and goodness for peace and solace in this fallen, broken world.

But this is just the sort of senseless violence that, in most versions of the story, drives Bruce Wayne to dedicate his life to fighting crime and protecting people as Batman. This is just the kind of tragedy that makes me wish (as I always have) that superheroes were real and that I could somehow be one. I was dressed as the heroic Batman that night, but there was and is little I can do here in Lynchburg, Virginia for the hurting people of Aurora, Colorado. This may sound strange and is almost certainly illogical, but a small part of me even wished that I could have been there to try to stop the murderer. I know that this is real life and not a comic book; I know that if I actually had been there, I would have wished to be anywhere else on the planet instead, and just because I was wearing a Batman costume doesn’t mean I would have been any good at all in a fight against an armed murderer. But I have always desired and striven to be a hero to others, and when I see heroes, real and fictional, who are willing to sacrifice their lives for others and for causes greater than themselves, it inspires me with a longing to do the same. I’m not suicidal; I enjoy and cherish life and do not long for death, and I most likely will never be in a situation that requires me to give up my literal, physical life to save someone else’s. But I hope and pray that, if for some reason I ever am in such a situation, I will have the courage and ability to do just that.

Of course, giving up one’s life isn’t the only way to be a hero. In our disagreements about the ending of the film, some friends have pointed out to me that dying for others is certainly dramatic, but usually not necessary in real life day-to-day circumstances, which is a truth that I’m trying to accept, both in regards to the film and to my own heroic pursuits. Besides, someone much more righteous and capable than myself (and even than Batman) already did it about two thousand years ago. Instead, one can be a hero by offering an encouraging word to those who need it, by showing legitimate care and concern for others through one’s actions, by living out love instead of hate, peace instead of terror. Having only watched it once, I forget the exact line, but at one point in this movie, Batman commented that even something as small as putting a coat on the shoulders of a troubled, hurting young boy can be a heroic act.

There’s a line in the movie that is one of my favorites and was even before the movie came out, because I heard it inthe trailer. It’s when Catwoman says to Batman, “You don’t owe these people anymore. You’ve given them everything,” and Batman responds with, “Not everything. Not yet.” This attitude of being willing to give everything of oneself for the good of others is one that I want to emulate with my life as well. Similarly inspiring to me are Jesus’ words that, “Greater love has no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). But laying down one’s life doesn’t have to mean literally dying. It can mean just being selfless toward others, denying our own lives and desires to serve those around us and a cause greater than ourselves.  That’s what Jesus did, that’s what Batman does, and it’s what I want to do too. So let’s do it. Let’s lay down our lives in whatever ways are necessary to be heroes and show love to our fellow man. That may include dying, but more likely it’ll be something far less dramatic, but which could still mean the world to someone else and have an overwhelmingly positive influence in their lives. And in a dark, twisted world where someone would be sick enough to kill a bunch of innocent people at a movie, this world needs all the positive influence, self-sacrificing heroes, and genuine love it can get.