Life update. Got to see Mia this past weekend before she went off to room with her cousins friend. She is now 3 hours away from me instead of 2. It was really nice to see her again. You kind of forget how amazing it feels to be around someone you love >.>
I was also blessed with no anxiety attacks and God was there for me so I could enjoy my lovely's company. We talked and set a lot of things straight, focusing on God and trying to encourage each other to be healthy with how we deal with our relationship. It was really good.
The downside is I'm back home now and I've had a relapse and I'm a little out of it. I'm a little discouraged about my part-time job and commission hunt...I am having a hard time trusting God to provide I guess. I don't have a job yet and I'm still only taking one class. I'm fighting the thoughts that I'll be left behind or that I'm alone. I feel like I have nothing to offer Mia or God. I want to grow and heal. I have no money as far as marriage would ever be considered, but I know that God has the chapters of my life planned out. If you guys could pray for God's provision, and most of all growth in faith and freedom from fear, guilt, and lies that stop me from seeing God's work. Also I'd like to ask for prayer against an idol I've recently been made aware of in my life..Self-pity and a false sense of humility. I struggle a lot with this and it it very hard to not beat myself up or degrade myself. Plus I want to encourage Mia in her walk with God and in our relationship and not to manipulate her for her sympathy for my selfish perverse pleasure I get out of feeling like someone feels 'sorry' for me.
I'm trying to pray and I'm actually going to see my counselor today so I hope that goes well. Please pray for Mia too as she has to deal with me, and is also looking for a part-time job in her area. She has areas that God wants to liberate her from too.
So yah. wooo life update. Hope you all are doing well and I pray God blesses the lot of you.
<3
You need to be a member of CCAS - Christian Comic Arts Society to add comments!
Comments
Thank you for sharing. I will keep you and Mia in my prayers. I know that the Holy Spirit will help you in your journey to draw closer to God. It is good that you are seeing a counselor, and I hope that you are connected with a group of believers that can encourage you. If ever you want to contact me, please feel free. May our gracious Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, give you strength, peace, and joy.
Still praying.
You, and even more so God, are the experts on your soul and the mélange of strengths, weaknesses and talents that shape it. His spirit is growing in you, has marked you as his and claimed you with unbreakable bonds. I pray that the construction of holy steel inside you continues to move forward from battle to battle; that while he may or may not heal you of depression, he will fulfill his promise to strengthen his spirit inside you(Ephesians 2:8-10).
God grant you the skills to feed yourself and others, and the time to worship him through your art. May God, the builder of new men, replace your self-pity with a self-assuredness of your worth to Him; God does not make junk nor recycle it, He replaces it year by year.
I still expect you to update your status, fall backs and fall forwards. Don't be a stranger to your family here.
I'll re-iterate the offer for you to send me a private message to talk. I've been through all of this stuff before and have even been in battle with it over the last several years. You're not alone in this.
You're in my prayers as well.