Warning: my story is not for the faint of heart. Some of this is going to be slightly dark...you have been warned.I was raised in church my whole life but as a youth I hardly believed, and there was a time when I didn’t believe in anything at all. I even dabbled in the occult and studied up on witchcraft as a young teen (thus my house was formerly haunted). You see, while I was taught Christian values in church, I didn’t really have much at home.I was an abused youth. As far back as I can recall, my mother had severe childhood damages of her own and it passed into her adulthood. It affected us all and she went undiagnosed, and I grew up being verbally, mentally, spiritually and physically being abused behind closed doors.It didn’t get better. I ended up homeless in 2010 after one final fight at home and I stood up for myself at last. Hardest thing to do. I don’t hate my family, I forgave them now but at the time I was an emotional mess and a very incomplete person. The little faith I had at that time dwindled away due to depression and suicidal tendencies, I became an alcoholic for a time, smoked weed, and lived in different places. The friends I had were okay for the most part but I had no real guidance.I ended up in yet another abusive relationship with a guy we all thought was genuine. He was a student at my martial arts academy and I was too broken to see the red flags, I just got sick of being all alone. I ended up with him, he became an abusive and sexually abusive person. He was everything I never needed and in the end, he took away whatever little purity I had left. He was SO abusive that it turned into a police situation and I had to get out.Unfortunately, I had nothing left. People took everything from me and I was just a shell of a person. My sanity, my hope, my well-being, my purity, my trust and inspiration was gone. It wasn’t until a couple of Christians found me and helped to counsel me and reinspire me. They were my vessels of mercy where even church members condemned me back then.I slowly realized that God was reaching out to me. I saw many butterflies flutter around me daily, I believe God was gifting me with them. I found new friends, people of faith, my family received help, and we slowly rebuilt ourselves again. It still needs a lot of work at home, I’m 31 now, but I’ve come a looooong way and now, God has put me through the metamorphosis of faith - I hatched and became a new creation. Maybe that’s why I like butterflies and moths so much.
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