I sit here tonight, a bit unsettled in my spirit, listening to the voice of God playing just beyond the realm of hearing. I've felt this before, many times, and each time it's led me to another level in my life. Some people mistake conviction for depression, or the inward groanings of the Holy Spirit for indigestion. Well, I know it's not depression tonight, and I know it's not indigestion, which means that God's trying to tell me something.Let me backtrack and explain how this came to pass.A while back on MYCCM I entered a contest to win a Christian Movie called MIDNIGHT CLEAR. I didn't know anything about it except that Stephen Baldwin was in it and it was based on a story by Jerry B. Jenkins. I've put off watching because well, there were too many other movies that "needed" to be watched, yet as I put it in my DVD player I slowly closed out of all instant messaging conversations, put down my art board and my pencil, and began to really listen to the message of the movie.As I watched it I became more and more unsettled. I began to really feel a burden in my heart again for those in my area that matched what I was seeing in the actors and actresses on the screen. One person, an old lady, was ready to committ suicide. Her son Lefty was also ready to committ suicide. No hope was left for them. Everything seemed to be self-destructing around them.I've been there, I've felt that, and I see it every day as I walk down the streets here on KI Sawyer. I see it in my neighbors face, I see it in my friends friends faces. I hear it when people talk to me, and I just groan inwardly at the plight that I see around me. It's almost like there's a blanket of hopelessness and loss over this area. Oppression lies over this area like a blanket, smothering hope in even those who are supposed to bring it. Apathy reigns supreme, nobody cares other than to live their life day to day, to wake up in the morning and go "Nope, not dead yet."I know that in every area there's a place like this. A neighborhood. A friend that you know. A city you live in. And I know that if you don't act on what God is leading you to do, you end up callousing yourself against it until God reveals it once again to you, as He did to me, tonight.Not even a couple months ago I sent out a huge e-mail to everyone I know about this area and the ministry that God has called me to. Again I feel the call, the working of the Holy Spirit deep within me. I know what I need to do.I need to fulfill the Great Commission.And so do you.
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