So living in a group home with two other people with Asperger's Syndrome has led me to a discovery that is not in the diagnosis of the disorder. We are only eloquent in relaying facts to other people. That is the only step ahead we have over people with full-blown Autism and it's makes it all the more terrible that way. When I was younger I had difficulty telling what facial expression I was waring at any given time. My parents could be yelling angrily me all the while I was smiling and couldn't notice that (got into trouble twice for that I recall). I pushed aside that probelem thinking I had outgrown it; but in recollection of my real life expiriences with other humans I've found that this lack of socical awareness is much more eroded than I thought. I still can't tell if I'm saying something rude or hilaruous unless my father or someone else who knoes me as well as he is can alert me to that. I'd made the same mistakes in my communitation with others; but since some couldn't tell if was being serious; I wasn't always treadted in the assumed mean manner I'd shown them and so I couldn't figure out if I was doing something wrong or not. On top of that I'm not even 10MB database so whatever information I have isn't really enough to have friends with other people. So What about other means of communication? Opinions are out since I hate almost everything and that's as useful as the info I'm so good at giving away...My sex drive is totally screwed up with the help of my mom and partly my papa (though him I can forgive)...since I didn't always watch me when he took me to bookstores and the library when I was little (in fact it was ok for me to wander around). It's so bad that I'm only driven by certain fantasies only and the usual porn you hear about arouses me very little if at all! With all those mutlipied I self-inflict the last straw by using that to justifiy my lethargy and impatience in my art practices which is why I haven't imporved at all in two years. I get to say this because I forgot to take my wellbutrin and the Medeterrian rice pudding/energy deinks I'm having is the only anti-sucicdal tendancy medicne I have to wait for someone to reply for this...well I had to say it sometime or another...
Ditto to what everyone , especially what Howard said. I definatly know what its like going through life not having anyone that can relate to you and your circumstances. It's definatly a battle to remind ourselves that we are not alone and that God is there to listen when no one else is. Sometimes all we need is a smile and a hug. Without those, life can be tough to go through. But your not alone. tho we're strangers, we care for you and are praying for you.
And I'm not saying that ,just to say it.
I value your friendship very much. Seeing you plug away and keep trying has been a blessing to me.
And tho we ( you ) feel like quiting sometimes. Maybe alot, I know Your Not A Quitter!
Praise God!
Hey friend, Hang in there. Life is most certainly not hopeless. I know this probably won't excite you at the moment, but you need to pour you heart out to Jesus. He desires to draw closer with you right now.
Man He can understand everything you say to him. You don't have to worry about saying something rude or inconsiderate, he knows your heart and knows just what you are going through. Everyday I
bare my soul before him. I give him all my fears all my doubts, all my struggles, I give him all the times when I feel worthless. There is nobody here on this site who can understand what you are going through like Jesus can. Crying out to Jesus will carry you, and when you get your piano bang the "you know what" out of it.
What Howard has said is true, I understand the funding only allows spiritual councilors but, a material item won't help and praying for one isn't like asking Santa for a christmas present, With all that you have been through I can imagine the amount of emotional things going on inside you right now, I know it doesn't sound like much, but go to God with it, with your heart open and talk with him. I will be praying for you and for healing.
Tanks you too...I hvae a lot of trouble because the only therapists that the state can fund are just 'spiritual' and that's about it...but I have approached them before and they're still trying to get me to finally sit down and talk about these issues...I really want a Piano. Could you pray I get on please? I can imagine killing someone but thats about it...when I'm upset I just really want to bang a Piano off the Richter scale! I feel a lot of steam can be used on that percussion instrument as long as it's weighted to require at least 10 lbs of force to strike a note...
Hey UnchartedSpirit,
I feel your frustrations and sounds like you have been through a lot. So as a friend, I just want to offer you some hope. Emotional wounds are just like physical wounds. It may take time, it may take outside help, but if you're willing to take that time and get that help, they will always heal. ALWAYS.
Now if you think life isn't worth the hassle, that there's too much pressure or that your in a pit too deep for anyone to help, please, PLEASE talk to somebody. There are people who have been where you are, people who have seen nothing but utter blackness and hopelessness. And yet, by talking to someone, they've managed to make it through those troubled waters.
You see, Jesus wasn't fooling when He called Satan a "thief' who wants to "steal and kill and destroy." Don't let the little creep have his way. Get help. Find somebody you can trust, somebody you can talk freely to, somebody who knows how to listen. My choice would be a pastor, a Christian counselor, or just a 'mature' friend in Christ.
You do not have to fight this battle on your own. Christ loved you enough to die for you.Give Him a chance to help. He made you special and unique, and He has a lifetime of hopes and plans for you. Please don't short-circuit Him; please don't cut Him off before He really gets started.
Just as He said Satan came to kill and destroy, He promised that He (Jesus) came so "that they [you] might have life, and might have it abundantly" (John 10:10).
You may not see it yet, but that's His plan. Just give Him a chance to get it in full operation.
Comments
Do you work with facial expressions much in your art work?
And I'm not saying that ,just to say it.
I value your friendship very much. Seeing you plug away and keep trying has been a blessing to me.
And tho we ( you ) feel like quiting sometimes. Maybe alot, I know Your Not A Quitter!
Praise God!
Man He can understand everything you say to him. You don't have to worry about saying something rude or inconsiderate, he knows your heart and knows just what you are going through. Everyday I
bare my soul before him. I give him all my fears all my doubts, all my struggles, I give him all the times when I feel worthless. There is nobody here on this site who can understand what you are going through like Jesus can. Crying out to Jesus will carry you, and when you get your piano bang the "you know what" out of it.
What Howard has said is true, I understand the funding only allows spiritual councilors but, a material item won't help and praying for one isn't like asking Santa for a christmas present, With all that you have been through I can imagine the amount of emotional things going on inside you right now, I know it doesn't sound like much, but go to God with it, with your heart open and talk with him. I will be praying for you and for healing.
I feel your frustrations and sounds like you have been through a lot. So as a friend, I just want to offer you some hope. Emotional wounds are just like physical wounds. It may take time, it may take outside help, but if you're willing to take that time and get that help, they will always heal. ALWAYS.
Now if you think life isn't worth the hassle, that there's too much pressure or that your in a pit too deep for anyone to help, please, PLEASE talk to somebody. There are people who have been where you are, people who have seen nothing but utter blackness and hopelessness. And yet, by talking to someone, they've managed to make it through those troubled waters.
You see, Jesus wasn't fooling when He called Satan a "thief' who wants to "steal and kill and destroy." Don't let the little creep have his way. Get help. Find somebody you can trust, somebody you can talk freely to, somebody who knows how to listen. My choice would be a pastor, a Christian counselor, or just a 'mature' friend in Christ.
You do not have to fight this battle on your own. Christ loved you enough to die for you.Give Him a chance to help. He made you special and unique, and He has a lifetime of hopes and plans for you. Please don't short-circuit Him; please don't cut Him off before He really gets started.
Just as He said Satan came to kill and destroy, He promised that He (Jesus) came so "that they [you] might have life, and might have it abundantly" (John 10:10).
You may not see it yet, but that's His plan. Just give Him a chance to get it in full operation.