It means I say, "Happy Birthday" to my mother. (Seriously. It's my mother's birthday.)
You know what else it means? It means it is Super Saturday!
Super Saturday means I get to talk about comic books. Get it? "Super"? Like "Superman," only with a more broad, general sorta feel? Yeah... I know, it's a stretch. I really wish there was a day of the week that started with "C." Maybe I can call it "Comic Caturday," only I pronounce the "C" like I would in the word "center." Or not.
Super Saturday it is.
And what can I talk about today? Well, I DON'T want to talk about "One More Day," a storyline in the Spider-Man comics.I don't want to. But I will.
Oh, yeah, better do this:
WARNING!!! SPOILERS AHEAD!!! DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN'T READ AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 545 (AND ANYTHING ELSE IN THE SPIDER-MAN BOOKS IN THE LAST YEAR AND A HALF) AND PLAN TO!!! BUT, IF YOU HAVEN'T, THEN DON'T. IT WILL ONLY IRRITATE YOU. SERIOUSLY. I MEAN IT. BUT, IF YOU WANT TO GET ANNOYED AND ANGRY, GO AHEAD AND READ IT, BUT DON'T READ THIS, BECAUSE I'M GOING TO SPOIL THIS TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE DECISION HELMED BY THE EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT OF MARVEL COMICS. CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED.
For those of you out of the loop, here is the scoop. Way back in the lackluster Civil War crossover event in Marvel Comics, Spider-Man unmasked to the media. You probably heard about this, since it made national news.
I wasn't keen on it, but I was willing to give it a chance, since I was assured by various interviews with people at Marvel that this would allow a whole lot of brand new story avenues for Spidey in the comics. It wouldn't be a constant focus of him trying to maintain his secret identity while battling evil.
Then, Marvel proceeded to publish essentially the same story over and over during the year and a half since that time - basically, now that Peter Parker's identity is known, every villain he's ever battled has come after him through his personal life. They've gone after him in public, at the school he teaches at, through his Aunt May and his wife Mary Jane, etc., etc., etc.
Eventually, Peter realizes that, perhaps, it was a huge, massive, galactically stupid move to reveal his identity to the public. Oh, and that the side he took in Civil War was wrong.
Uh, yeah. Just as a general rule, here is a good piece of advice - if you are on a side in a battle, and Captain America is NOT on your side, you've probably picked the wrong horse, skippy.
So, anyway, now that he's taken this stand, he's on the run from the authorities as well as the criminals that now know his secret identity.
While on the run, an assassin manages to shoot Aunt May, putting her into a coma she may never recover from.
You know, like the ones she's had about every five or so years since Spidey premiered?
Anyway, Spidey is ticked and goes on the hunt for the shooter while promoting Spider-Man 3, released by Sony. Whoops. What I meant to say is, Spidey puts on the old black and white costume that he wore for a while, which just happened to coincide with the promotional push for Spider-Man 3 which also had Spidey in a black costume.
Anyway, he finds the shooter, learns that the Kingpin was behind it all, breaks into the prison where the Kingpin is being held, and puts the hurt on him real good.
We are then treated to One More Day. Wait, I meant to say "subjected," not "treated."
During One More Day, we watch as Peter Parker scrambles around the Marvel Universe trying to get someone to make Aunt May all better. Shockingly, nobody can do it, despite their many powers and abilities. This is probably due to the natural order of things, the delicate balance within the Marvel Universe... or simply editorial mandate.
Of course, when faced with this kinda trouble, Howie Mandel appears to ask, "Deal...(insanely long pregnant pause)... or No Deal?". Wait... not Howie Mandel. It was Mephisto, the Devil.
Mephisto looks at Peter and Mary Jane and says that he can save Aunt May's life, but in return, they would have never been married. Mephisto goes on and on about how great and pure their love is, and how seeing them not together, always feeling they missed out on the one meant for them, would just curl his toes with glee.
Peter, being sane, says, "Are you nuts?!? Give up my wife, the love of my life, the rock of support that has kept me tethered to sanity, to save my Aunt? Aunt May would kill me if I chose to save her by giving up my true love and chance at happiness! Get out of here, demon!"
Oh... no. That's not what happens. That is what should have happened.
Instead, Peter and Mary Jane decide to go through with the deal.
Mephisto goes all "Bippity Boppity Boo" and Peter wakes up, greets his Aunt, who is in the kitchen making wheatcakes, and goes off to a party. MJ is at the party, but they are uncomfortable around each other. The party has a bunch of the supporting cast from when Peter was in high school, including Harry Osborn, son of Norman Osborn... who is looking good for a guy that has been dead for a couple of decades.
The end.
Yep. Remember kids, follow the example of your heroes, like Spidey. Make a deal with the devil!
Marvel editorial has felt, for some time, that the big problem with the Spider-Man comics was that Peter was married. They insisted this limited the stories they could tell.
It wasn't the inconsistent writing and art, or the overexposure of a hero that appears in no less than eight different comics each and every month. Nope. He was married.
They set in motion the way to undo this horrible lodestone about the neck of their flagship character. The culmination was this story, which even the writer didn't like, and publicly announced.
Now, we have a Spider-Man who again has a secret identiy (part of the deal with the devil - guess that unmasking didn't have all that many story avenues after all, huh?), and one which has cherry picked different continuity elements from the last 20 or so years of stories to change. Like Peter's dead best friend now being alive.
When the writer questioned the logic of this whole thing, the editors reportedly gave this response:
"It's magic. We don't have to explain it."
Brilliant.
Oh, well. I think this will save me some money. With this grand step, it seems like a nice way to jump off of the Spider-Man books. Maybe I'll switch over to Ultimate Spider-Man or Marvel Adventures Spider-Man instead.
Type at you later.
(Another request - Spider-Woman)
Comments
btw billy i was ticked with jhn byrnes superman who he screwed up after the first crisis so i know the feeling. at least quesada didnt do what he really wanted to do he wanted to kill mary jane off.
one of the reasons ive grown to love superman again besides the fact they undid most of byrnes screwups and undid most of the crisis took away is the marriage of lois and clark like reed and sue sorm and tchalla im starting to like that pairing
i quit reading the spiderman titles long before this cause i decided if i want a soap opera ill turn on days of our lives (my only vice left) spider titles were soap operas with very little action and very little us of his old enemies i hated it.
heard a great idea every one drop the spiderman titles and start getting spidergirl in protest cause in that one peter and mj are still married
To really make your day I hear Harry isnt the only one back from the dead a certain blond woman is also