Posted by wayne collins on February 14, 2008 at 12:15am
Hi everyone. I am new to the group. I am trying my hand at writing, but I keep running into massive walls of redundancy. I think I have a great idea, but am having trouble tying it all together to form a cohesive and interesting flow. Any suggestions or ideas would be greatly appreciated.
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Dear Wayne,
Thank you for sharing your story with us! I've read it twice through, rather quickly, I tend to read that way to get an overview and then attach the details to it in subsequent readings.
Here are my initial reactions to your story. I didn't really see the redundancies you were afraid of. I do see that you have created a world that is a fusion of Christianity and mythology. I think you will find some people very sensitive about this. I've thought about this a lot, and will never be able to think up a 'one size fits all' rule for when fiction is inappropriate for merging with Christianity. Not to dredge up any old arguments here, but I believe there is something fundamentally different between something like a Christian fantasy comic that features Christian missionaries in space, for example, and something like 'Jesus meets the Smurfs'.
Having said that, I do not personally find your inclusion of Vampyres in your story problematic. I like stories about spirits and angels and the visitation of Saints.
Are you planning on running the story with the narrative as you've written it? I liked it a lot. At first I didn't know who's perspective you were telling the story from. It was intriguing enough to keep me reading, and when I saw you were telling it from the perspective of Satan, it was a darkly thrilling surprise. For me that also explained some non-Biblical ideas in the narrative, as Satan is the father of lies. Of course, the idea that Satan is not a created being but eternal like God is a conceit of the devil, and it's a heresy he spreads rampantly today.
I'm weak on scripture, but I would point to the book of Job, which seems to indicate that Satan -can- directly assault and destroy the sons and daughters of Adam and Eve., when you have time please look into this and see if you agree.
Just an idea, you can do a lot with your story set-up, why not work on that as a prequel? If Caleb is not inspiring you, you might be inspired with another character down the line, or new ideas about Caleb. Sometimes letting an idea rest for awhile is the best way to see it fresh.
Finally, I'd suggest you plan to dedicate a page of your book as an editorial article to clarify to the readers that this is a Christian fantasy, to talk about your take on Vampyres, and to point people to the Bible as the ultimate source of Truth. Your story looks interesting to me, from what I've seen so far, I think you will earn the right to preach a bit. Just my two cents:)
Satan had to get permission to directly touch Job. and otherwise he has to get permission from us which we give in a way when we willingly sin., and somethimes our parents and ancestors give. but yes he is not allowed to touch us outside of this.
wayne collins > UnchartedSpiritFebruary 14, 2008 at 4:58pm
Hi, and thanks for responding. I have developed a great idea for a story. I've done some historical research, and have done a rough draft. Problem is that I think I only have a fairly well crafted 'environment', but I'm having trouble developing the reason and motivation of the characters. I can't seem to get to the purpose for this story, so it feels like a glorified documentary. I have a few plot ideas, but then I keep getting grander in my imaginative scope. Mentally it seems to flow, but when I try to apply it to paper, logic rules, and it falls apart. I'm afraid to disclose my idea, because I don't know how to be protected against theft, even unintentional. So, the redundancy comes from me spinning my wheels in ernest with seemingly no way out. The miracle is that I know God gave me the idea for the story, and if I do my part, it will work towards his glory. Hope this clarifies a little better.
I recommend character development. Take notes about people you know in real life, how they speak and act, and how they react in different situations. Read biographies of people who lived in the time and place you researched. Character development is as important in storytelling as plot development. Once you have one or two distinct characters, this will help you decide what they do.
BoranJarami > wayne collinsMarch 7, 2008 at 6:03pm
When you say that you can't get to the purpose of the story, do you mean that you don't have a purpose or that you have one but can't get your plot to accomplish it?
Replies
Thank you for sharing your story with us! I've read it twice through, rather quickly, I tend to read that way to get an overview and then attach the details to it in subsequent readings.
Here are my initial reactions to your story. I didn't really see the redundancies you were afraid of. I do see that you have created a world that is a fusion of Christianity and mythology. I think you will find some people very sensitive about this. I've thought about this a lot, and will never be able to think up a 'one size fits all' rule for when fiction is inappropriate for merging with Christianity. Not to dredge up any old arguments here, but I believe there is something fundamentally different between something like a Christian fantasy comic that features Christian missionaries in space, for example, and something like 'Jesus meets the Smurfs'.
Having said that, I do not personally find your inclusion of Vampyres in your story problematic. I like stories about spirits and angels and the visitation of Saints.
Are you planning on running the story with the narrative as you've written it? I liked it a lot. At first I didn't know who's perspective you were telling the story from. It was intriguing enough to keep me reading, and when I saw you were telling it from the perspective of Satan, it was a darkly thrilling surprise. For me that also explained some non-Biblical ideas in the narrative, as Satan is the father of lies. Of course, the idea that Satan is not a created being but eternal like God is a conceit of the devil, and it's a heresy he spreads rampantly today.
I'm weak on scripture, but I would point to the book of Job, which seems to indicate that Satan -can- directly assault and destroy the sons and daughters of Adam and Eve., when you have time please look into this and see if you agree.
Just an idea, you can do a lot with your story set-up, why not work on that as a prequel? If Caleb is not inspiring you, you might be inspired with another character down the line, or new ideas about Caleb. Sometimes letting an idea rest for awhile is the best way to see it fresh.
Finally, I'd suggest you plan to dedicate a page of your book as an editorial article to clarify to the readers that this is a Christian fantasy, to talk about your take on Vampyres, and to point people to the Bible as the ultimate source of Truth. Your story looks interesting to me, from what I've seen so far, I think you will earn the right to preach a bit. Just my two cents:)
God bless you,
Gerry Lee
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