every time i sit here at this computer looking over the project I think why am i still here?I mean of everyone I probably screwed up my life more than most> There are many men and women of God who have gone on at a young age some due to aids and I think to myself I slept with so many why was i spared my life has been a joke> I have a project that will be drawn and finished but have no idea if it will ever see the light of day. There are some people i look back in the past and say they should be here alive and healthy doing gods work and it should be me in the ground.before anyone panics Im not suicidal just right now dont feel like running the race fighting the fight yadda yadda yadda anymore
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It's hard in life as it is, and well as a Christian it's harder because you have an enemy that wants you to feel defeated, and wants to keep you bogged down by condemnation. But Beloved once you gave your life over to Christ, God stopped looking at your own deeds in life whether good or bad, and started looking to Christ for your righteousness. There is no way you can ever change that in His eyes, no matter what failings you have now, had, or will have, because Christ has covered them all by his blood. "By His stripes we are healed," Jesus also took on his own body any illness you had/will have or may have brought upon yourself so that you can be whole, and free. That is God's grace beyond explanation, beyond who we think deserves what. God has given so much, and you have only to accept it without feeling like you aren't worthy, because my dear brother Jesus made you worthy.
Beloved In Grace,
Souba
Geoff: Hey man. Hang onto God, no matter what comes. Life can be confusing, unjust, and at times we feel unloved. The truth is God really never uses anybody to a large degree, until they've been broken all to pieces. Sorrow widens the soul, and tribulation's imprint is on all great things. Pilgrim's Progress was written in a lonely jail cell. Very often, the Lord will take us into dark places, desolate places, where we are forced to cry out (literally) "Lord, there is no one besides You who can help me!" It's no accident, it is appointed! God is trying to get at something inside of us, heal us in ways He couldn't do otherwise. Discouragement is not good; it is natural, however. It is quite normal to experience delayed answers to prayer, and often we give up too soon-- but it's in the grips uncertainty and restless fear that we are called to hold fast to our faith. Our desires often compete with God, and though He wants to give us the desires of our hearts, He does not want them to take His place. There is something in the waiting that purifies our motivations-- and also brings all the glory to Him alone when He does answer our prayers, and He will (I promise and so does He). I am going through this myself, and it is terribly challenging to wait on God. Often our unfolding circumstances APPEAR to be working in direct contrast to the things we ask of God-- but that is also the proof that He will at some point turn things around, and amaze us by His loving attention and commitment to make us holy, and-- dare I say it, happy. I recommend a devotional for you called "Streams in the Desert", by Elizabeth Cowman. Reading it you'll see that our Christian experience is not at all unique. God has not forgotten us, we simply have abandonment issues because of poor parental models, or something we've had happen to us in the past. He almost always works contrary to our senses and to the flesh, and we have grown accustomed to living in a way that requires no faith, no risk, and no reliance on an Almighty Christ.
Trust me, He is in the deliverance business; but God also tests "the sons of men". Sainthood springs out of suffering-- there's a limit to how much He allows, and He will not keep you there. The problem of getting great things from God is being able to hold on for the last half hour. We must trust, though troubled and perplexed. Remember, you are chosen, Geoff. God knows more than we do concerning our need, however extreme and pressing that need is upon us. He won't let any of us down. He spared not His only Son, giving Him up for us all. He promises (therefore) to hold back no good thing from those that fear Him. I am counting on His promises, and I myself am in a desperate situation-- so I'm not just spouting verses off the top of my head, or talking down to you. I live by God's promises, and I am believing He will do just as He says in His Word.
May He give you endurance and steadfast confidence in His power to deliver, and in His unshakable, committed, love for you. May He meet your needs, whatever they are.
Replies
Beloved In Grace,
Souba
Trust me, He is in the deliverance business; but God also tests "the sons of men". Sainthood springs out of suffering-- there's a limit to how much He allows, and He will not keep you there. The problem of getting great things from God is being able to hold on for the last half hour. We must trust, though troubled and perplexed. Remember, you are chosen, Geoff. God knows more than we do concerning our need, however extreme and pressing that need is upon us. He won't let any of us down. He spared not His only Son, giving Him up for us all. He promises (therefore) to hold back no good thing from those that fear Him. I am counting on His promises, and I myself am in a desperate situation-- so I'm not just spouting verses off the top of my head, or talking down to you. I live by God's promises, and I am believing He will do just as He says in His Word.
May He give you endurance and steadfast confidence in His power to deliver, and in His unshakable, committed, love for you. May He meet your needs, whatever they are.
Chris