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Script Help

Posted by Luis Serrano on June 20, 2011 at 8:47am in STORYTELLING WRITING

I originally posted this in the mentors group, but this discussion group may be appropriate.  I've pasted it below.

 

I've got a project that I'm developing that I need some help with.

 

You can check out the website (though it's not live, and will be redone) to get an idea of the project.  www.samsonthenazirite.com  Since the artwork on the site is concept art I've attached a cover art page.  We are actually going with a different cover page but this one will give you an better idea of the art direction.

 

I've got an amazingly talented team.  (A penciler, inker, and colorist).

 

Unfortunately the writer (me) is totally inexperienced and not so talented.  I'm not being falsely humble, I'm being honest.  Knowing this, I began this project with the intent to collaborate with a writer.  I reached out to a few writer friends, but nothing came of it.  So I struck out on my own.

 

The great thing about the team that we have is that they can take what I give them and make it better.  That's what I'm looking for.  Someone who can take my story and make it better, but I don't need just an editor.  I'm looking for someone who can also collaborate with me on the story.  Honestly this is a difficult thing to ask for, but I am striving for excellence in this project and I believe with the right person we can create something truly special.

 

Some background information.  I'm a Bible College graduate and I love Scripture.  I love the stories of the Bible.  When you're young you hear watered down versions of bible stories.  This is rightly so, but as we get older many never go back to read the actual Scriptural account of these stories.  I would guess that most people think that David killed Goliath with a stone, rather than he beheaded him.  So my desire, though simple, seems radical.  To tell Bible stories as they are told in the Scripture.  

 

Having said that this project is fiction.  I believe that we can stay true to the story while fleshing out the story.   At the same time all the dialogue from the Scriptural account is in the story.   

 

Staying true to the story also means that our target audiences are older.  If I were to give it a movie rating, I would say PG-13.  

 

So I hope someone reads this who feels like they would like to jump on board.  If so hit me up and let's talk.

 

-Luis

 

Samson1-cover-150.jpg

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Replies

  • Keith Osmun July 4, 2011 at 2:16pm
    If you dont mind showing someone interested in writing with no experience doing scripts for comics the ropes, please count me in.
    I am published in non-fiction, i did take screenwriting in college, and i have a few books on it.
    Other than potential formatting issues I would love to dive into a project like this.
    Private message me if you need more references and you are still interested.
  • Mike Shields June 21, 2011 at 9:35am

    Sounds like you need a story editor. Or a creative consultant....

     

    Hit me up, and I'll help you out, for a piece of the pie.

  • Luis Serrano June 21, 2011 at 3:55am

    Buzz,

     

    You make a great point, and I am really going to take it to heart.  I do have a different take on Samson and his life.  Not only physically, this Samson isn't a bodybuilder - which ties in well with the mystery of his strength.  But also the view that Samson is righteous, bright, and poetic.  I don't feel that my take is different from the traditional for the sake of just being different.  I believe it to be a more accurate take.

     

    Samson lived a life of a Nazirite, which was MORE righteous than others not less.  He was betrayed twice, both by women he loved.  He didn't go out and cut his hair, he trusted a woman he loved.

     

    Also God was not only playing a role behind the scenes, but directly in the story. The Spirit of the LORD comes upon Samson three times, and it also compelled him to go to Timnah in the first place.

     

    So again, thank you for your comment, I will be sure to stress the differences :) 

    Buzz Dixon said:

    I saw this on your website --

    Samson is often seen as this immoral person, but he lived in the time of the Judges.  Which when you read Judges was an incredibly wicked time.  Scriptures describe it as a time where, "everyone did what was right in their own eyes".  It is unfair to judge Samson using the moral standards of today.

    -- and think that really needs to be stressed as your angle of approach.  There are scads of Samson stories out there, everything from Cecil B. DeMille to Alan Moore to Mario Ruiz' GN for the American Bible Society to etc., etc., and of course, etc. You need to do something that will make your interpretation of the story stand out.

    Build everything in your story from that premise -- that it looks bad by today's standards but is actually a pretty moral stand for the time -- and you should find it easier to tell your story.

     

    There's no right or wrong way of telling a story, only what works & what doesn't work.  There are plenty of online resources such as sample scripts, etc. out there.  Make use of them!

  • Luis Serrano June 21, 2011 at 3:29am

    Reading the account I do get the impression that Manoah did have a difficult time saying no to Samson.  I think it would be difficult for a man of that time to say no to his first born son, when we had lost hope of ever having children.  I do touch on this in my story.

     

    Thanks again for your thoughts :)


    Melchizedek Todd said:

    That's true Luis, they were godly, but like all godly people they had flaws. I'm not judging them, because their human, but the scriptures show they never put their foot down with Samson. They were parents, and some parents do that. I believe them allowing Samson to do what he want and actually help him in some ways, Samson became spoiled and disrespectful. That doesn't mean they were "evil", just human with flaws like any godly parents. 

    Just and idea to explore with your story.

  • Justin Martin June 20, 2011 at 10:01pm
    No problem! I'm glad I was able to help...

    Luis Serrano said:

    Hey Justin,

     

    Thanks for your note, I appreciate the time and effort in writing me.  I did read Scott McCloud's book, and will check out Peter David's.

     

    More than anything what I feel my story is lacking sufficient depth.  There is narration throughout the story and I would like it to have more narration that reveals more of the character's emotions, thoughts, ideals, personality, etc.

     

    Also there are scenes that I would like to be able to shoot ideas back and forth.  For example when Samson kills 1,000 Philistines, my plan is to make this several pages.  I have several ideas for it, but it's also nice to collaborate on it.

     

    Thanks again for your note and for adding my site to your blogroll.

     

    -Luis



    Justin Martin said:

    Hello Luis,

     

    I really like the idea behind the project, and the art looks really good! This is the type of comic I would like to help out with, but unfortunately I'm more-than-busy with the two comic projects I am currently working on. Also, I'm new to this writing thing as well, so I wouldn't be much help in terms of "expertise" or "writing experience" anyway.

     

    However, I have been able to come across a few resources that have helped me in terms of learning how to prepare a script and tell stories in this medium. In terms of big-picture story-telling, some good books to check out are (1) Making Comics by Scott McCloud and (2) Writing for Comics and Graphic Novels with Peter David. I share a few takeaways from Peter David's book on my blog:

     

    http://rsquaredcomicz.com/2010/12/01/2-books-ive-read-so-far-for-re...

     

    As for more structural advice, there's a website called ComixTribe that has a section called "The Proving Grounds." In this section, aspiring writers send a script editor sample scripts, and the editor posts the script and his feedback online. Here's a link:

     

    http://www.comixtribe.com/category/the-proving-grounds/

     

    A while back, this same editor offered to read the first few pages of anyone's script for free. I took him up on it, and main did my script get ripped, lol! It was very helpful though, as I've learned a lot. The common structure (although there are some variations) of a script consists of the page - panel - dialogue format. For instance:

     

    Page 1

     

    Panel 1

    (Description of panel that you would give to artist)

     

    Character 1: ........

     

    Character 2: ........

     

    I highly recommend you check out that website, and also one or both of those books as a starting point. One thing I'm learning is that when writing anything, you have to have thick skin, and be prepared for criticism. The key is to discern which criticism is accurate and thus helpful, and which is not. Another thing is that it will likely take a long time and many hours of practice writing before you see some tangible improvement. The key is to just get out there and start writing. I think one of the best pieces of advice that I received from an established creator (who also owns the Comixtribe site along with the editor I told you about), is to start out (if possible) with telling short stories of only a few pages or so first, instead of starting with a full-length, 22-page issue. Of course this depends on the format of your comic/graphic novel, but you get the point.

     

    I hope this was helpful. I'm praying for the best regarding your project and its development process, and let me know if I can be of any further assistance. I'll also add your website to my blogroll.

     

    Justin Martin

    Founder, R-Squared Comicz

    http://myonepage.com/rsquaredcomicz

     

     

     

     

    Script Help
    I originally posted this in the mentors group, but this discussion group may be appropriate.  I've pasted it below.   I've got a project that I'm dev…
  • Melchizedek Todd June 20, 2011 at 4:17pm

    That's true Luis, they were godly, but like all godly people they had flaws. I'm not judging them, because their human, but the scriptures show they never put their foot down with Samson. They were parents, and some parents do that. I believe them allowing Samson to do what he want and actually help him in some ways, Samson became spoiled and disrespectful. That doesn't mean they were "evil", just human with flaws like any godly parents. 

    Just and idea to explore with your story.

  • Luis Serrano June 20, 2011 at 3:23pm

    Melchizedek,

     

    Thanks for your thoughts!  I actually take the view that his parents were godly.  The fact that the angel of the LORD would appear to them, answer Manoah's prayer, and grant them a child, I think shows that they were actually godly.  You have to keep in mind that the story is during the period of Judges. An overall wicked time.  Scriptures describes the time as, 'Everyone did what was right in their own eyes'. It's important to understand these characters through the lens of their own history rather than our time period.  Not only for Samson but for most Biblical characters.  For example it was common practice for the patriarchs to have children through women other than their wives.  We judge them through our time, but I don't believe that they were seen as ungodly in their own time.  Scripture calls these men righteous and we must trust God's word over our judgments. (Also we have more revelation of God's word and truth that they had)

    Melchizedek Todd said:

    Would you like a suggestion man? I can't go full force with you and your story, but I could give suggestions to character plots and development. I don't know how deep you are fleshing out Sampson, but flashbacks of his youth and how terrible his parents were would be interesting. I always felt Sampson's Dad was wimpy

    and the mom and the dad were enablers. I don't know how much creative license you're giving to your story. Tell me what you think.

     

    Melchizedek Todd

    Script Help
    I originally posted this in the mentors group, but this discussion group may be appropriate.  I've pasted it below.   I've got a project that I'm dev…
  • Luis Serrano June 20, 2011 at 3:12pm

    Hey Justin,

     

    Thanks for your note, I appreciate the time and effort in writing me.  I did read Scott McCloud's book, and will check out Peter David's.

     

    More than anything what I feel my story is lacking sufficient depth.  There is narration throughout the story and I would like it to have more narration that reveals more of the character's emotions, thoughts, ideals, personality, etc.

     

    Also there are scenes that I would like to be able to shoot ideas back and forth.  For example when Samson kills 1,000 Philistines, my plan is to make this several pages.  I have several ideas for it, but it's also nice to collaborate on it.

     

    Thanks again for your note and for adding my site to your blogroll.

     

    -Luis



    Justin Martin said:

    Hello Luis,

     

    I really like the idea behind the project, and the art looks really good! This is the type of comic I would like to help out with, but unfortunately I'm more-than-busy with the two comic projects I am currently working on. Also, I'm new to this writing thing as well, so I wouldn't be much help in terms of "expertise" or "writing experience" anyway.

     

    However, I have been able to come across a few resources that have helped me in terms of learning how to prepare a script and tell stories in this medium. In terms of big-picture story-telling, some good books to check out are (1) Making Comics by Scott McCloud and (2) Writing for Comics and Graphic Novels with Peter David. I share a few takeaways from Peter David's book on my blog:

     

    http://rsquaredcomicz.com/2010/12/01/2-books-ive-read-so-far-for-re...

     

    As for more structural advice, there's a website called ComixTribe that has a section called "The Proving Grounds." In this section, aspiring writers send a script editor sample scripts, and the editor posts the script and his feedback online. Here's a link:

     

    http://www.comixtribe.com/category/the-proving-grounds/

     

    A while back, this same editor offered to read the first few pages of anyone's script for free. I took him up on it, and main did my script get ripped, lol! It was very helpful though, as I've learned a lot. The common structure (although there are some variations) of a script consists of the page - panel - dialogue format. For instance:

     

    Page 1

     

    Panel 1

    (Description of panel that you would give to artist)

     

    Character 1: ........

     

    Character 2: ........

     

    I highly recommend you check out that website, and also one or both of those books as a starting point. One thing I'm learning is that when writing anything, you have to have thick skin, and be prepared for criticism. The key is to discern which criticism is accurate and thus helpful, and which is not. Another thing is that it will likely take a long time and many hours of practice writing before you see some tangible improvement. The key is to just get out there and start writing. I think one of the best pieces of advice that I received from an established creator (who also owns the Comixtribe site along with the editor I told you about), is to start out (if possible) with telling short stories of only a few pages or so first, instead of starting with a full-length, 22-page issue. Of course this depends on the format of your comic/graphic novel, but you get the point.

     

    I hope this was helpful. I'm praying for the best regarding your project and its development process, and let me know if I can be of any further assistance. I'll also add your website to my blogroll.

     

    Justin Martin

    Founder, R-Squared Comicz

    http://myonepage.com/rsquaredcomicz

     

     

     

     

    Script Help
    I originally posted this in the mentors group, but this discussion group may be appropriate.  I've pasted it below.   I've got a project that I'm dev…
  • Melchizedek Todd June 20, 2011 at 3:08pm

    Would you like a suggestion man? I can't go full force with you and your story, but I could give suggestions to character plots and development. I don't know how deep you are fleshing out Sampson, but flashbacks of his youth and how terrible his parents were would be interesting. I always felt Sampson's Dad was wimpy

    and the mom and the dad were enablers. I don't know how much creative license you're giving to your story. Tell me what you think.

     

    Melchizedek Todd

  • Justin Martin June 20, 2011 at 10:03am

    Hello Luis,

     

    I really like the idea behind the project, and the art looks really good! This is the type of comic I would like to help out with, but unfortunately I'm more-than-busy with the two comic projects I am currently working on. Also, I'm new to this writing thing as well, so I wouldn't be much help in terms of "expertise" or "writing experience" anyway.

     

    However, I have been able to come across a few resources that have helped me in terms of learning how to prepare a script and tell stories in this medium. In terms of big-picture story-telling, some good books to check out are (1) Making Comics by Scott McCloud and (2) Writing for Comics and Graphic Novels with Peter David. I share a few takeaways from Peter David's book on my blog:

     

    http://rsquaredcomicz.com/2010/12/01/2-books-ive-read-so-far-for-re...

     

    As for more structural advice, there's a website called ComixTribe that has a section called "The Proving Grounds." In this section, aspiring writers send a script editor sample scripts, and the editor posts the script and his feedback online. Here's a link:

     

    http://www.comixtribe.com/category/the-proving-grounds/

     

    A while back, this same editor offered to read the first few pages of anyone's script for free. I took him up on it, and main did my script get ripped, lol! It was very helpful though, as I've learned a lot. The common structure (although there are some variations) of a script consists of the page - panel - dialogue format. For instance:

     

    Page 1

     

    Panel 1

    (Description of panel that you would give to artist)

     

    Character 1: ........

     

    Character 2: ........

     

    I highly recommend you check out that website, and also one or both of those books as a starting point. One thing I'm learning is that when writing anything, you have to have thick skin, and be prepared for criticism. The key is to discern which criticism is accurate and thus helpful, and which is not. Another thing is that it will likely take a long time and many hours of practice writing before you see some tangible improvement. The key is to just get out there and start writing. I think one of the best pieces of advice that I received from an established creator (who also owns the Comixtribe site along with the editor I told you about), is to start out (if possible) with telling short stories of only a few pages or so first, instead of starting with a full-length, 22-page issue. Of course this depends on the format of your comic/graphic novel, but you get the point.

     

    I hope this was helpful. I'm praying for the best regarding your project and its development process, and let me know if I can be of any further assistance. I'll also add your website to my blogroll.

     

    Justin Martin

    Founder, R-Squared Comicz

    http://myonepage.com/rsquaredcomicz

     

     

     

     

This reply was deleted.