Without going into too many details:I have been a fan of comic books since Junior High. Before that, I would constantly read all sorts of archie comics, westerns, and "funnies" whenever I got the chance. I have always wanted a career in comics, though until recently I had held myself back and stood in the way of that reality.I've recently finished my second book - for a small publisher in Austin, TX. I have learned a lot and feel more convicted about my artwork. Great news eh?Then I sabotaged it all.. again.Along with my life-long love for comics, cartoons, etc., I've had a nearly 20 year struggle with pornography. I have been married for nearly five years, and the problem finally came to light at the end of last year.I am praying and taking actions to battle this addiction. To make things more difficult, however, the fight is taking some serious casualties. My wife has vowed to remove my studio from the house. That means, she is going to remove anything "comic" related from our lives - no more comics, action figures, graphic novels, etc.. As of yesterday, the posters, wall hangings, action figures, artist sketches and commission pieces have been thrown away (toys were donated to charity).My wife is convinced that comics - in all forms (all the way to Dilbert and Garfield), lead to temptation for me, and that in order to truly help me, she has to dispose of anything comic-related. She refuses to allow me to give the comics away instead, arguing that she if she doesn't want it for our family, why would she condone it for someone else's?Guys.. I'm lost and desperate here.I love my wife and new son more than life itself. And when push comes to shove, I would always give up everything comic-related for them. While I know that I have to make some MAJOR adjustments to seriously beat my addiction, this feels like blackmail (or a hostage situation).I'm finally starting to do what I've dreamt of doing all my life, and it's been because of her love and support, and inspiration from my new son. Now, to have to shut all of it down and out of my life because of her fear... it's heartbreaking.... I ask for prayers for healing, clarity and discernment.Thank you.
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Congrats Charles... i'm late in saying this... but that's a tough habit to break. And deceit is such a tough thing to see through.
I've added this to a prayer sticky... it may be late, but I'll be praying for you.
Praise the Lord for opening up your eyes. The word of God says in proverbs 18:22 " A man's greatest treasure is his wife, she is a gift from God." And I believe that God has given you that gift. We as artist do tend to make our gift as idolsand yes, the comics can become just that also, we have to give it to God and I know has dealt with me in that and still is dealing with me in weeding out the god books from the crap. As creators we feed off of other artist and sometimes make them idols and we have to learn not to idolize these creators.
You are a strong man to pour out your heart and be very transparent and you have showed me that to give it up for God is a blessing. Hey, as a man, father, husband and creator I thank you. I am looking for an accountability partner so we can keep each other in prayer and encourage one another when we are weak.
if your interested?
God bless you and your family and may God continue to give you and your wife wisdom.
Thank you Charles. In the past week, I've talked more to my wife than I think we ever did in the past five years. Thanks to God, two things have really come about because of this:
1. I had made "comics" my idols- in a weird and convoluted way. I was not "creating" - I wasn't asking God for help and direction (as is evident from my website that's been "under construction" for the past 3 years - and my empty collection of sketchbooks). I had built something that I called a studio - but in reality, it has simply turned into a shrine for me. A shrine dedicated to me and to the things that I enjoyed. There's a lot more to it - but in the end, the toys went to charity and if I need to give away my comic book collection - willingly and in a way that honors God and my family - I have no doubt that the future will bring about blessings that I've never even considered.
2. I found the "root" of my problems, and am working to undo all the lies and pain that I had chosen to keep and hold tightly to for nearly two decades. I came to realize that I had set up "rules" and expectations in my relationship with God that were completely twisted and full of resentment and entitlement. As I work through the lies and grow back into a loving relationship with God, with my life and my family, I am beginning to finally see His blessings for what they truly are.
I'm really excited. And I'm very humbled and blessed to know that my wife WANTS me to create. She wants to see the good that can be possible in comics - where before all she assumed existed were pages of violence, gore and semi-naked women.
I want to create again.. and now I think I can start on the road again.
Thank you for your prayers Charles, and I look forward to being an active and productive member of this community.
Amen brother. I will be praying for you and your family. I think that what she has done may be a mistake. You see I am also a comic book fan and creator and I have my battles with the oppistie sex, even now, but I do not believe it has anything to do with comics, it has to do with the sin and generational curses. yo both have to seek the Lord as one and have him repair your relationship, by your wife throwing those things in your life that you like she may also be killing your dream. Look at where the pornography may have started. If you are looking at comicbook female characters and fantasizing about them then maybe you should obsatin from comics, but if that is not the cause then find out what it is.
When "we" take matters into our own hands we open ourselves to resentment and anger, she needs to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit and help you through this not take away things. Lust is a powerful spirit and we all battle it in some degree. King David's lust turned him to a murderer, but what drove him to commit that? Did God take his kingdom away for that? It will take a while for her to heal from this, as well as yourself. Sit down with her and talk to her as a friend first, then tell her how you feel and let her express her feelings, then pray together and ask the Lord to to start to heal and ask for His guidance and wisdom. I hope I have been a help. Me and my wife have had our share of trials similar to yours and we let God deal with us individually and together and we are the best of friends first and then she is my wife. God bless you.
Replies
I've added this to a prayer sticky... it may be late, but I'll be praying for you.
You are a strong man to pour out your heart and be very transparent and you have showed me that to give it up for God is a blessing. Hey, as a man, father, husband and creator I thank you. I am looking for an accountability partner so we can keep each other in prayer and encourage one another when we are weak.
if your interested?
God bless you and your family and may God continue to give you and your wife wisdom.
1. I had made "comics" my idols- in a weird and convoluted way. I was not "creating" - I wasn't asking God for help and direction (as is evident from my website that's been "under construction" for the past 3 years - and my empty collection of sketchbooks). I had built something that I called a studio - but in reality, it has simply turned into a shrine for me. A shrine dedicated to me and to the things that I enjoyed. There's a lot more to it - but in the end, the toys went to charity and if I need to give away my comic book collection - willingly and in a way that honors God and my family - I have no doubt that the future will bring about blessings that I've never even considered.
2. I found the "root" of my problems, and am working to undo all the lies and pain that I had chosen to keep and hold tightly to for nearly two decades. I came to realize that I had set up "rules" and expectations in my relationship with God that were completely twisted and full of resentment and entitlement. As I work through the lies and grow back into a loving relationship with God, with my life and my family, I am beginning to finally see His blessings for what they truly are.
I'm really excited. And I'm very humbled and blessed to know that my wife WANTS me to create. She wants to see the good that can be possible in comics - where before all she assumed existed were pages of violence, gore and semi-naked women.
I want to create again.. and now I think I can start on the road again.
Thank you for your prayers Charles, and I look forward to being an active and productive member of this community.
When "we" take matters into our own hands we open ourselves to resentment and anger, she needs to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit and help you through this not take away things. Lust is a powerful spirit and we all battle it in some degree. King David's lust turned him to a murderer, but what drove him to commit that? Did God take his kingdom away for that? It will take a while for her to heal from this, as well as yourself. Sit down with her and talk to her as a friend first, then tell her how you feel and let her express her feelings, then pray together and ask the Lord to to start to heal and ask for His guidance and wisdom. I hope I have been a help. Me and my wife have had our share of trials similar to yours and we let God deal with us individually and together and we are the best of friends first and then she is my wife. God bless you.