Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! (and feedback requested!)

I hope everyone had a great time with family this Christmas! I have been puttering away learning 3D animation - took longer than I liked to work out approaches that I can be efficient at. (I cannot draw, so using computer animation means I only have to create characters once then pose them.) The genre is "slice of life", so mainly story line for surprises that reveal over the series. The goal is to deal with emotional issues (in an entertaining way) with a reference to a bible verse at the end - "look! the bible contains relevant wisdom to life! try reading it yourself!", rather than full on evangelical.

I have created two episodes of "web motion comics" (closest name I can think of) at https://extra-ordinary.tv/ - feedback before I do too many more episodes particularly welcome! Each page is a short animated clip with speech bubbles (no sound). So its a cross between a comic and a cartoon. There is only so much I can do for what the images look like (I cannot use a different "style" because its created by software - only so many options it gives me) - but I can change script, story building approaches, camera angles. I would love to hear things like "this part was frankly boring". You guys may tell me. Others would just leave and stop reading!

Being a different format than most (not static comics, not video) the other challenge I have is how to advertise and get people to follow etc. I cannot publish on WebToons etc. I am leaning towards Twitter, Facebook, etc. Still thinking that one through.

I looked over both episodes. While I'm not an anime fan in general, I found your work held my interest the whole time. Characters move naturally and the story and characters are compelling, however I can't speak for a teenager that appears to be the target audience for these episodes. Having mom emerge at the end of Episode 1 dressed as a __________ was a wonderfully clever twist.
The verses feel like they're tacked on as an afterthought and don't really fit. For example, Sam ends up lonely and ignored at the end of Episode 1, which does not link to Proverbs 13:20. The verse at the end of Episode 2 is likewise disconnected. Other than that, I think your stories are cool and entertaining. Could Sam be a ninja as well?
* Might want to post this on the CCAS Facebook site as well for a bit wider exposure: https://www.facebook.com/groups/christiancomicarts

Replies

Brien Sparling December 28, 2021 at 9:28pm

I looked over both episodes. While I'm not an anime fan in general, I found your work held my interest the whole time. Characters move naturally and the story and characters are compelling, however I can't speak for a teenager that appears to be the target audience for these episodes. Having mom emerge at the end of Episode 1 dressed as a __________ was a wonderfully clever twist.
The verses feel like they're tacked on as an afterthought and don't really fit. For example, Sam ends up lonely and ignored at the end of Episode 1, which does not link to Proverbs 13:20. The verse at the end of Episode 2 is likewise disconnected. Other than that, I think your stories are cool and entertaining. Could Sam be a ninja as well?
* Might want to post this on the CCAS Facebook site as well for a bit wider exposure: https://www.facebook.com/groups/christiancomicarts
- Alan Kent > Brien Sparling January 2, 2022 at 4:17pm
  
  yes - the script changed during drafts to increase interest, and the original verses don't fit as well. I need to rethink them. First cut I showed to someone and they said "BORING"... and it was. Sam just helped the old lady, she said thank you, end of first scene. Reading up more on scriptwriting it talked more about conflict of some kind being needed to make things more interesting. But the feel of the episodes changed. I need either to learn to write interesting scripts on topic, or work out the best verse after finishing the episode. Thanks for the feedback! I wanted to get a few done, gather feedback, correct mistakes before advertising too widely. Then I can focus on content rather than tools etc. So early feedback very valuable! Thank you!

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