No no Disney's goons haven't found out about my work, unless they do sift through landfills...I was robbed yesterday of my backpacks containing all my school and life's work (literally, I was carring my back-up hard drive with me); as well as hundreds of unrestorable refrence materials and resources; plus one entire comic book project. So I'm not only out of new ideas, I can't even improve or pitch the ones I had come up with since I have no way of remembering them or getting them back! Though it doesn't really hurt my schoolwork; since they don't really care about my stories I want to animate, film, or render by other means or they aren't supposed to (not paid for) gear me torwards success through them...I can't even count all the things that were gone...all the fan art projects I started to gain some online recognition seeing that they would turn up their noses to anything else of mine...my music compositions...all my unfinished work and writings, all that research, characters both new potential and improved designs...all impossible to recover...Well I still have options...I don't know really what God want's me to go on now...I could just give it all up and kill my sellf because I don't really have any incentive or basis for me to feel called much less encouraged to stay in these fields and like I'd said I'd kill myself before I switched to any other field; or I could go on with my "Im unstoppable" attitude but this time compleately leave what I would now refer to "religion" out the picture-and still try to recover my stuff if it were possible!
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"Why God, why did you allow this to happen? How will this trouble possibly give me the opportunity to be more like you, Jesus?"
That would be the most important question to seek an answer from God about in this tough time.
I have had difficult things happen to me as well in my 20+ years as a cartoonist and if I would have sought the answer to the above question more, I know I would have handled situations with more faith and clarity.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" Romans 8:28
well, I am still mystified as to why you think to fast as a means of plea barganing ( since you claim that's why you got some of your work back ) - what are your Biblical referances; and of what are you repenting : hubris, claiming that God doesn't love you? claiming to be a failure - or those late night internet sessions ? maybe all and the blasphemy, to boot?
Try the "rejoice always " aproach.
Oh, and do listen when people try to help you through life...
You don't really expound on what it is that you believe you've lost... in your posting there's no real mention of what you laid out as "your life's work". Drawings and music are nice things but where were you going with them?
I'm concerned that you make your statement and yet have no revelation as to why I did this story to achieve this and I created this piece in order to enlighten people about these things that I hold to be true. If you truly feel you lost those parts of yourself that gave you insight, then I would worry, but the spiritual blessings that should have directed you to sharing yourself will never leave you! Simply accept that sometimes the tower in the square falls and the things that you love are lost for a time. How you deal with the loss is certainly a greater story to tell than the tale of that backpack of possessions.
Take heart, look up, get up, and do that which is now been given to you. The CHANCE to grow and overcome. How will you feel when that has been accomplished and how will you be in the future knowing that this cannot destroy your spirit?
Nevertheless, considering God (Holy Spirit in particular) is the keeper of beautiful, profound stories, poems, and ideas, it is just a minor, earthly discomfort. Continue pursuing to create and to tinker with other ideas. And always, be prayerful.
And in hindsight (please don't take this as a cold "I told you so" or "you should have thought of this"), always keep your ideas in different mediums. I am very wary of keeping my treasured ideas on a computer alone. I would get a notebook and dedicate that to that project/comic/idea. Since people are obsessed with computers now days, I highly doubt that they would want to steal a notebook(as in the one made out of paper and metal spiral?).
Well they did still an entire portfolio I was using to hold the research and ideas for the comic I just posted in my blog yesterday, and now all of it is in a landfill. They destroyed both the art and the scans...
Keep courage it just a new begining for you. In few days (or month) you will forget this because you will find a new things. The reply that the brothers has given to you is very powerfull and helpfull you should meditate them and I 'm sure that it will be a new begining. Abraham, Moses...and even me need to let or lose everything to have a new begining with God. I will support you in my pray, god bless
First of all stop talking about killing yourself. Second it is time for you to do some serious reanalysis of your life. If you would kill yourself before switching to another field your priorities are way out of line. If you would give up on God if your work doesn't succeed, your work is your god. I have been exactly where you are right now and I laid art down for a season and gave it to Him completely. In that time of fast, he called me to ministry and now my art is a tool to his glory. God may have allowed this to get your attention on a serious issue between you and Him. The other possibility is you may be on the verge of a breakthrough. that's usually when stuff like this happens. The enemy doesn't usually mess with people God's not going to use but those with a call can expect this kind of stuff to keep you from being what God created you to be. Instead of giving up on God truly give it all over to God (your comments on leaving God behind or taking your life if you can't be what you want to be show that you haven't done this). Say to God, "I'm giving this to you and I won't pick it up again unless it's your will and then ask him what He wants you to do. Then listen, wait and trust him. His plan for you is what you were created for and when you find it you find life's real meaning. Hold on to Him and He will take care of the rest. I have been at a very similar place to where you are right now. I was ready to lose it all for the sake of my art. It felt as if no matter what I did God wouldn't let me succeed. In my case it was God fixing my life. When I gave it over to Him he helped me find my way back to being a better husband, father and man, called me to ministry oh and one more thing, He made me a better artist than I ever was when it was my idol. I know what I am writing may make you angry, it would have made me angry, but please consider it, your life is worth more than your art. Jesus didn't die for your art, He died for you. He loves you.
If you want to "talk" angelprty1@aol.com
Dave Weiss
Pastor Z > Dave "Weird World" WeissJuly 30, 2008 at 12:32pm
I cannot but echo Pastor Dave's sentiment.
However, as a pastor I have an obligation to not take comments about suicide lightly. Perhaps you said it jokingly, but if a parishioner even casually mentioned killing himself, I would have to take it seriously. If it's just something you say - a knee-jerk reaction to things that happen around you - then stop. But, on the other hand, if your success as an artist is so important to you that you'd rather lose your life than not succeed, then you need to sit down and talk to to a counselor or your pastor or someone who can help you get your priorities straightened out.
In 2001, I had a comic strip I had worked on for twenty years turned down by every syndicate on the planet. I was crushed. The only thing I had ever wanted out of life was to have it published, and I believed so strongly in myself that I couldn't understand why it failed. But fail it did. However, it wasn't until AFTER I failed and was ready to give up that God gave me a new direction t go with my artwork. He put me into the vocational ministry, and turned my artwork into a ministry for Him as well.
None of this would have happened if I had just given up. Don't give up on yourself, and don't give up on God. He won't ever give up on you.
Amen Pastor Z.
Michael, I was negligent in mentioning that if the thought you are having of suicide are real and recurrent, you need to see someone for help and counseling now! Don't wait.
Start writing down everything you can think of that was on the drive etc. Then keep adding to the list, this will help. Here's a bit of advice for you, coming from experience. I have lost work like this before but not quite as much at one time. This is what I have learned. Once you really have to sit down and think through these ideas and such, maybe even have to make new sketches, it will take on a life of its own and its always better material. Kinda like a do over, you always get it better the second time around. Sorry for your loss though, thats tough.
Option number two, spend time with God, in prayer and reading the word. Nothing like that to clear your head and give you new direction. Also, fast and pray, this will really boost you like you have never been boosted.
On second thought, just do number two and leave the first idea for later.
Replies
That would be the most important question to seek an answer from God about in this tough time.
I have had difficult things happen to me as well in my 20+ years as a cartoonist and if I would have sought the answer to the above question more, I know I would have handled situations with more faith and clarity.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" Romans 8:28
Try the "rejoice always " aproach.
Oh, and do listen when people try to help you through life...
I'm concerned that you make your statement and yet have no revelation as to why I did this story to achieve this and I created this piece in order to enlighten people about these things that I hold to be true. If you truly feel you lost those parts of yourself that gave you insight, then I would worry, but the spiritual blessings that should have directed you to sharing yourself will never leave you! Simply accept that sometimes the tower in the square falls and the things that you love are lost for a time. How you deal with the loss is certainly a greater story to tell than the tale of that backpack of possessions.
Take heart, look up, get up, and do that which is now been given to you. The CHANCE to grow and overcome. How will you feel when that has been accomplished and how will you be in the future knowing that this cannot destroy your spirit?
Nevertheless, considering God (Holy Spirit in particular) is the keeper of beautiful, profound stories, poems, and ideas, it is just a minor, earthly discomfort. Continue pursuing to create and to tinker with other ideas. And always, be prayerful.
And in hindsight (please don't take this as a cold "I told you so" or "you should have thought of this"), always keep your ideas in different mediums. I am very wary of keeping my treasured ideas on a computer alone. I would get a notebook and dedicate that to that project/comic/idea. Since people are obsessed with computers now days, I highly doubt that they would want to steal a notebook(as in the one made out of paper and metal spiral?).
If you want to "talk" angelprty1@aol.com
Dave Weiss
However, as a pastor I have an obligation to not take comments about suicide lightly. Perhaps you said it jokingly, but if a parishioner even casually mentioned killing himself, I would have to take it seriously. If it's just something you say - a knee-jerk reaction to things that happen around you - then stop. But, on the other hand, if your success as an artist is so important to you that you'd rather lose your life than not succeed, then you need to sit down and talk to to a counselor or your pastor or someone who can help you get your priorities straightened out.
In 2001, I had a comic strip I had worked on for twenty years turned down by every syndicate on the planet. I was crushed. The only thing I had ever wanted out of life was to have it published, and I believed so strongly in myself that I couldn't understand why it failed. But fail it did. However, it wasn't until AFTER I failed and was ready to give up that God gave me a new direction t go with my artwork. He put me into the vocational ministry, and turned my artwork into a ministry for Him as well.
None of this would have happened if I had just given up. Don't give up on yourself, and don't give up on God. He won't ever give up on you.
Michael, I was negligent in mentioning that if the thought you are having of suicide are real and recurrent, you need to see someone for help and counseling now! Don't wait.
Option number two, spend time with God, in prayer and reading the word. Nothing like that to clear your head and give you new direction. Also, fast and pray, this will really boost you like you have never been boosted.
On second thought, just do number two and leave the first idea for later.
Lance
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